Overcoming "Veteran's Paranoia"

[Psychlonic]

Veteran's Paranoia is just a term I'm making up here to describe something I'm sure a lot of us know about because we all experience it at one point or another after operating for a long time. Simply put, it's when you start thinking that somehow, somebody has discovered what you are doing and they are watching you just waiting for you to slip up or fall into a trap they have set. In short: "THEY KNOW..."

To the new operative, this may seem silly but most older guys will know exactly what I mean. Getting away from home and "growing up" just compounds the issue as suddenly you feel far more vulnerable on night ops and the stakes increase.

This has actually grounded a lot of operations from what I have learned from others as they get far too paranoid to go out frequently anymore. Indeed, the chances of getting caught can only increase as you continue to venture into the shadows and it's fairly common to find yourself thinking your number is about to come up. If you get into shadier areas than merely infiltration for sport and exploration, it's even worse.

So this issue needs to be addressed instead of ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist to appear more badass.

Perhaps the best remedy I've found has been simple. When shit heats up, slow your ass down. It doesn't have to be extreme to be enjoyable. Find yourself a nice, easy area you haven't been to and do some good old fashioned exploration. Play Mr. Inconspicuous for a change if you have to and walk around legally, looking for OPportunities at night. Take some neat pictures and just enjoy yourself, I've seen some guys take really nice ones of their areas - Moddy comes to mind immediately - so consider doing that sometime instead of pictures of yourself proving you went somewhere. Try sitting passively in one area and relaxing. Make it somewhere people pass by and be an observer. Try new areas and just stick to the simple spots while looking around for interesting targets.

You want to make your outings simple and stress-free if you've got "Veteran's Paranoia" to remind you why you're doing this and what the appeal is. When you make it a job for yourself, you lose motivation quickly and forget that it's supposed to be fun. It's for YOU, not for impressing your buddies or this forum, sure as hell not me. It's about having total control and freedom, being able to drift into places you could not in the daytime. If you are freaking out thinking someone is watching you, you're not in control and don't feel that freedom. Just relax, step outside, take in some of that crisp night air, and make sure you come back home with a great story to keep for yourself while feeling sorry others couldn't share the experience you just had. If you're coming back home turning on police scanners, peering through the blinds every 5 minutes and turning off all the lights? You're doing it wrong.

If you're the guy with bills to pay and feel like you don't have a choice, at the very least stop going for "the big one" for a moment. Go back to your roots, play it safe, and just sit back and enjoy some simple schemes. Stop trying to get rich for the time being and focus on keeping yourself out of the slammer. Your money isn't going very far in jail unless you want overpriced candy bars, soda, and stashed sleeping pills.

"Back to your roots" is really the key phrase. If you've got VP, then you've obviously been in the game long enough because you found something that appeals to you in the first place. And chances are, as VP drags on, you begin losing sight of why you got into this. Every operation is a new operation, you don't necessarily need to keep pushing yourself. Haunt some old stomping grounds and see what it's like now. It will be a different operation. Try the above ideas mentioned. Jump into your neighbors back yard for old time's sake and snoop around.

For you new operatives, I will assure you that at some point paranoia will creep in. It hopefully will go away and perhaps this will be of some help to you, but it will happen. For everyone, new and old, just remember why you're here: yourself. Don't be trying to make a name for yourself, don't push yourself for anyone else's sake. Just listen to yourself, have fun, and stay safe.

[Urgon]

AVE...

"They know" syndrome was main reason for me to stop playing with explosives some time ago. It happens from time to time to everyone, who is ballancing on the line between light and darkness...

My suggestion is simple: pause for a moment. Pretend to be law abiding citizen. Collect your field notes and recipes, review them. It helps to sort the thoughts and learn on mistakes. I do this from time to time to help me focus on important things...

[Cadance]

As someone who has been at this sort of thing for a while now, I can say that this definately exists. Even in the military and within the intelligence agencies highly trained people get this ALOT. There comes a time when you realize what you are doing can be dangerous and you start to think of the consequences of your actions.

This should never be a deterrent but rather to show you that you are in fact capable of making mistakes. Its natures way of saying "Slow down Jack...". Like the others above me said, just relax and get back to basics.

Everyone needs a refresher course from time to time. Look at all the major industries where professionals have to retest every few years to maintain their certifications (Nursing, Water Treatment, Nuclear Engineers, etc)...we are no different.

There is a saying I learned in my time in the field. "A man should only retire when the wars and the action no longer scare him.". For when you are no longer scared, the whole thing becomes reutine...its nothing more then a job. It also means that when you are not scared, you think yourself to be invulnerable and impervious to harm and thoughts like that have ended the "employment" of many OPers then I care to count.

Every OP should be exciting, even frightening to some degree, not terrifying but enough to get the blood pumping, to remind you that you are alive.

[fx1k]

Even though I've only been opping for a short time (almost a year), I get some of this. Partially because I went too big too soon on my operations. I did succeed, but I was not yet prepared for what I had to go through. I was always worried about making mistakes or possible mistakes of past ops that could get me in trouble. I was not prepared enough. My operations were no longer exhilarating, they were terrifying.

What helped me was to take a bit of a break and then start over slowly. I've been slowly building from the ground up to the caliber of ops I was doing before. I feel like I am doing a much better job in my operations now. It feels like I am being a more thorough, making sure to look after myself more to avoid the kind of mistakes that would bring on the "they know" feeling.

[Ghost]

This was a major factor in my nearly two-year long hiatus from serious opping. I don't think there was ever a point where i thought "if i go out opping, someone is definitely going to find out...", rather i used it as an excuse to postpone getting back into things over and over again. I'm planning on using the dare-ops thread to force myself to get serious about things again, it seems like a good way to start out slow, and then build back up.

[Rex]

I left the site for nearly 3 years over "Veteran's Paranoia" or the "they know" syndrome.
Except for me it was more of a "they will know" paranoia.
And that's just what it is.. It's paranoia.

This paranoia exhibits itself in different ways with different people.

Even though I quit posting, I didn't quit oping. I changed my style and technique a little.
I began to sit down and think things out a little longer in the planning stages.

Just like Psychlonic said "When shit heats up, slow your ass down.", and that's exactly what I did.
Planning took more time, the operation went slower, but I had more fun.

It still has a slight grip on me though. I am left with a posting phobia.

An unreasonable fear of posting about ops is something I'm trying to overcome.
This is my baby steps in the direction of overcoming that paranoia.

This "Veteran's Paranoia / They Know" syndrome is very real, and it will effect everyone eventually.
I suspect some of the older members who have disappeared, disappeared due to post-phobia.
They are probably still actively oping, but have developed Veteran's Paranoia of posting.
Hopefully they will take the first step in overcoming this syndrome by coming back & taking a baby step as I just have.

[Xanatos]

This phenomenon definitely needs more research. It hasn't happened to me yet, but who knows?

[Lynx]

I suppose once you start doing the really fun stuff, posting about it isn't such a great idea. Incriminating yourself is the last thing anyone would want to do. That's my two cents.

[Psychlonic]

I had really strong VP around 2007, early 2008 at the worst because I was breaking into a lot of REALLY off-limit places and in a few cases they knew there was a break in but nobody knew who had done it. It was making the local departments look like asses and they reached the point where spotlights, night vision, and thermal were being employed regularly to try to catch someone (me) and I ended up in more than a few E&E situations because they had such a thick presence in certain areas that they were nearly unavoidable. I don't think they ever really saw me, they just thought they saw *something* and would start scanning. When they employ this many measures, you start to wonder how many dots they can connect. Maybe they had me as a suspect and wanted to catch me in the act before moving in. I thought about it all the time. Getting pinned down in the middle of a field with several police SUVs more or less surrounding you with spotlights thinking they're finally going to catch their guy will do that to you.

[Absent]

Technology getting better and better makes it worse, too. Cameras and statistical analysis and what not... I'm always worried some day they'll make connections with databases and bits and pieces of information that I somehow left behind. It's probably just paranoia but still.

[Xanatos]

In the grand scheme of things, this site is a speck in a huge ocean. The authorities have bigger fish to fry than us.